Old Social Anxiety Thinking

Here is my thinking of the past if I would be to go to the Hairdressers to get my hair cut:

• I’m the lowest human on the planet
• The girls/women at the hairdressers are better than me
• I’m such a lowly person that the girls/women at the hairdressers won’t respect or care about my human rights
• I’m an unlikable person
• I’m an ugly person
• I’m the biggest looser in the whole world
• I’m the most uncoolest person in the whole world
• People enjoy not caring about me
• I don’t know what to say
• They hate me
• They think there is something wrong with me
• The girls/women at the hairdressers are so high above me
• I have the most repulsive sounding voice in the world
• No one cares about me
• I’m all alone
• I’m a bad person
• I’m an unacceptable person
• I’m a worthless, hate-able person

The Results of this thinking are that I suffer emotionally when around people, in this case at the hairdressers, the girls/women at the hairdressers are uncomfortable around me, I will be in a state of fear or panic at the hairdressers, I will speak to the girls/women in a fake way maybe desperately lieing to them about myself to “appear as a good enough person”, and I may be on the verge of tears or may uncontrollably start crying when I leave the hairdressers.

New More Effective No Social Anxiety / No Shyness Ways Of  Thinking

•  Of course I matter just as much as anyone else!
• Ha, ha I am rebelling against that old way of thinking and anyone in my life that may have wanted me to think that
• Ha, ha I am being a free, normal, healthy, assertive person just because I can!!!
• I am highly worthy, just like every person
• What matters is what I know to be good, free, and right, not what ANY person thinks
• I am free so ha, ha, take that!
• I can do anything I want, go anywhere, speak to anyone, engage in anything in the whole world
• I love myself very much just the way I am
• Other people can be wrong or questionable in their words or behavior  - I always have full normal human rights
• It is funny and laughable to believe these girls/women are higher than me or superior to me just because of features of their appearance
• I like myself and want myself even though I am extremely imperfect!
• I like these people even though they may be imperfect! I care about them anyway
• I will protect myself
• Being “adventurous” is fun
• If people don’t like me or reject me, it is just a fun adventure anyway, I can do whatever I want
• I’m going to spoil myself and care about what *I* really want
• It fills me with happiness when I connect with people by even just smiling at them or saying something nice or chatty because connecting with people gives them positive energy and makes them happier
• Wow, these people have many good, fascinating, talented, interesting, significant, or wonderful things about them and their life, even though it may be hidden from me, I know it’s true, so I know how important/humbling other people are.

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People with Anti-Social behavior are not caring about moral principles or other peoples well-being, emotional, psychological, or physical.

They are not focused on feeling good about them self by being a decent human being, they are focused on feeling good about them self by being “Clever”, “The one with the most power”, and “Winning while the other loses”.

So don’t be fooled. The way of thinking they are engaged in when they engage in anti-social behavior is not right, intelligent, or correct at all.

Examples of Anti-Social Behavior:

• Derogatory comments about appearance
• Disrespecting Your Physical Boundaries and rights of physical freedom and physical respect
• Using fear tactics on you when you be an independent person/speak up
• Using fear tactics on you when you don’t be as they want you to be or do as they want you to do
• Using fear tactics on you when you want to make your own choices
• Sexually inappropriate – not respecting their partners feelings and flirting or cheating with others, incest

I hope you can see by this that if you’re reading this and have a person or people with Anti-Social Behavior in your life, you are being much more mature than them. In fact, I totally admire your strength.

How can I write this? I have read a number of books on Difficult People/Anti-Social/Abuse/Psychopathic people.

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• How Teasing and Bullying is so Silly and Ridiculous

Here’s my ideas of different human behaviors with the unique desperate need.

You have had significant, (possibly hurtful) experiences of missing out on proper, healthy, or normal parenting. —> You will have behaviour of Anti-Social person, Unkind person, Not Caring, Rebellious, Criminal, Bully, or Abusive Person

You have had significant hurtful experiences of broken and damaged trust —> You will have behaviour of Shyness, Social Anxiety, Withdrawn, or Fear

You have had significant hurtful experiences of not receiving full and complete love for the way you are —> You will have behaviour of Over-Eating.

You have had significant hurtful experiences of an environment or circumstance of unfair and undeserved Chaos —> You will have behaviour of Hyper Sensitivity and Dramatic.

You have had significant hurtful experiences of you or your hurts being un-noticed, un-seen, invalidated, or not cared for —-> You will have behaviour of Under-Eating or Anorexia.

Anorexic people have had significant hurtful experiences of their or their hurts being un-noticed, un-seen, invalidated, or not cared for.

They are loved but are not receiving enough care that they need.

Also, anorexic people are receiving too much roughness and not enough gentleness either from them self or from others when it comes to their emotional and psychological peace and health.

Over-Eaters have had significant hurtful experiences of not receiving enough love for the way they are.

Over-Eaters are in desperate need for love just the way they are and love despite anything and everything.

They are cared for enough, but not loved enough.

Criminals, Bullies, Abusive People etc have had significant (…possibly… …hurtful…) experiences of missing out on proper, healthy, or normal parenting.

Their happiness and needs are cared for enough, but they are not receiving enough control, management, and limits.

Shy people have had significant hurtful experiences of broken and damaged trust.

They are not receiving enough sincere apologies, care, and repairing of trust.

Hyper Sensitive and Dramatic people have had significant hurtful experiences of an environment or circumstance of unfair and undeserved chaos.

They are not receiving enough soothing, loving, calmness.

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